vncnus Chapter 79 As your teacher... I'm not reconciled...
Chapter 79 As your teacher... I'm not reconciled...
Zhuge Yan's words were like the sharpest dagger, piercing through the most sacred dome of faith that the Sanyi Sect had upheld for hundreds of years, and also deeply penetrating Zuo Ruotong's heart.
The room fell into a deathly silence.
The sounds of the city outside the window seemed to be blocked by an invisible barrier, leaving only the faint crackling of the burning candle and the slightly rapid beating of Zhuge Yan's own heart.
Zuo Ruotong slowly closed her eyes.
The color seemed to have faded from his face, and his usually gentle and calm expression was now shrouded in an indescribable weariness and heaviness.
He had already put down the teacup, and the tea stains on his sleeve were slowly spreading into dark watermarks, but he was completely unaware of it.
He did not refute, reprimand, or even show the slightest hint of anger.
Zhuge Yan's heart was in his throat.
He could clearly see his master's long eyelashes trembling slightly in the candlelight, as if bearing an immense weight.
Was he too reckless?
After all, for the master, returning to the original state after three attempts had become his lifelong obsession.
Just as Wugensheng pointed out that the threefold reversal could not be reversed, his master was no longer willing to bear the "ball" of the threefold reversal.
If Master is truly exhausted and doesn't want to keep going...
If he were no longer willing to maintain the reverse life force to suppress his injuries, wouldn't that be tantamount to indirectly killing his master?!
Thinking of this, beads of cold sweat appeared on Zhuge Yan's forehead.
He opened his mouth, wanting to deny his previous statement, but for a moment he didn't know how to start.
He can't exactly say that he was just talking nonsense, can he?
Time slipped away slowly in the agonizing silence.
Zhuge Yan could almost hear the sound of his own blood flowing.
After a long while, Zuo Ruotong kept her eyes closed, but her lips moved very slightly, and her voice was so low that it was almost inaudible.
"A road with an end... how can it lead to an endless sky..."
He seemed to be repeating Zhuge Yan's words, or perhaps questioning his own heart.
These words seemed to drain the last bit of strength from him.
Zhuge Yan's heart clenched suddenly, and he fell to his knees with a thud, his forehead hitting the cold floor hard.
"Disciple...disciple has spoken recklessly! Disciple has been arrogant! Please punish me, Master!"
He dared not look up, only feeling a huge surge of sourness welling up in his nose.
Zuo Ruotong finally slowly opened her eyes.
Those eyes, once as deep and bright as stars, now seemed veiled by a thin mist, losing their former clarity and brilliance.
He didn't look at Zhuge Yan kneeling on the ground; his gaze was somewhat empty as he stared at the tea stains on the table, as if he could glimpse his shattered Dao heart in them.
"Punishment..."
Zuo Ruotong's voice was ethereal, carrying an extreme sense of emptiness.
"What punishment did I give you? Was it to punish you for voicing... doubts that I may have had deep in my heart long ago?"
His voice was soft, yet it struck Zhuge Yan's heart like a heavy hammer.
Master was indeed... not completely unaware!
"Yan'er..."
Zuo Ruotong's gaze finally fell on the kneeling disciple, her expression extremely complex.
"You... are very good, really. This courage to question the 'Tao' is excellent."
If only I could have been like you back then, able to see the world clearly even when I was in the mountains…
Inside the room, the candlelight flickered, casting long and distorted shadows of the master and his apprentice on the wall.
"So rise, what wrong have you done?"
Zhuge Yan's body trembled slightly, and he slowly raised his head.
He saw no anger or blame on his master's face, only a calm that bordered on pity, and a deep, forcibly suppressed emptiness and bewilderment in his eyes.
"What you said... was like a knife, yet it also... pierced my heart."
Zuo Ruotong's gaze fell on Zhuge Yan's face, yet it seemed to penetrate him, looking towards some distant, ethereal place.
"How can a road with an end lead to an endless sky...? Yes, this question has also quietly knocked on the door of my heart in the still of the night. But..."
He paused, a barely perceptible tremor in his voice, a struggle on the verge of his beliefs collapsing.
"But this thought is too heavy, too... cruel."
It's like a boulder, pressing down on you and making it hard to breathe. You instinctively want to push it away, using excuses like "my practice is not yet complete" or "the opportunity has not yet arrived," and comforting yourself with "the wisdom of our predecessors" or "the legacy of our ancestors."
For hundreds of years, all disciples of the Trinity have been like this, and so have I….”
Zuo Ruotong's gaze refocused on Zhuge Yan, her eyes displaying an extremely complex mix of emotions: a clear understanding of the world, satisfaction with her disciple's discerning eye, and a resolute determination to gamble everything.
"You're right, Yan'er. Logically speaking, the paradox you pointed out is...flawless."
This triple rebirth is very likely... truly, beyond the reach of the heavens.
"Master..."
Zhuge Yan's heart trembled violently, and his throat felt as if something was blocking it.
Zuo Ruotong raised her hand, stopping him from speaking.
His gaze gradually sharpened, a light that shone with the determination to step forward even knowing that what lay ahead might be an abyss.
"but!"
This "but" was decisive and resounding, instantly dispelling the deathly silence and dejection in the room.
"What if?"
Zuo Ruotong's voice suddenly rose, carrying an almost obsessive fervor.
"What if...we're wrong? What if this 'triple' isn't the end, but the beginning of another world?"
What if... the state of returning to oneness is not an illusion, but a mystery that we ordinary mortals have not yet figured out?
What if... this seemingly endless road leads to a hidden paradise, where one can glimpse a corner of the boundless sky?
His chest rose and fell slightly, and his eyes burned with the final flame of his lifelong belief, a flame called "obsession" and "seeking proof".
"Yan'er, your teacher... is unwilling to accept this..."
This expression of "unwillingness" is filled with the dedication and hard work that Zuo Ruotong has put into his studies for decades.
"This return from the three to the one is what I have been pursuing all my life, and it is the foundation of the Sanyi School!"
If it's fake, then what have my decades of life and the centuries-old heritage of the San Yi Sect amounted to? A mere dream? A joke?
Zuo Ruotong stood up, walked to the window, turned her back to Zhuge Yan, and looked out at the dazzling yet hazy lights of Shanghai.
His back remained upright, yet it exuded an unprecedented sense of loneliness and tragedy.
"So, Yan'er..."
He turned around, his gaze sharp and piercing straight into Zhuge Yan's heart.
"I... still want to give it a try."
This time, Zuo Ruotong did not act as a master.
He was simply representing Zuo Ruotong as a person, wanting to bring an end to the obsession he had pursued throughout his life, and to serve as a witness.
By then, whether the outcome is good or bad, he will have no regrets...