Actresses

Chapter 53 Searching

"If I didn't have a mission tonight, I really would like to have a good drink with you at the studio," said Sister Stone.

Shi Jiahe smiled and shook her head. "Forget it, finding the person is the priority. Just give the order, and we'll set off."

Stone glanced at her watch; it was eight o'clock. "Actually, I want to leave now, but it's too early... Knowing these guys' habits, the second round definitely hasn't started yet."

"If you're not going to eat, what should we do?"

"Do you have any suggestions? I don't really have much leisure time when I'm not working," said Sister Stone.

"This..." Shi Jiahe scratched her head in confusion. "What you're saying is confusing me too. I don't think I do anything besides work."

"Do you play games? It seems like many of my younger colleagues play games like King of Glory or five-player ranked matches, but I don't really know much about them."

"I don't play. I feel that playing games is a huge waste of time. I don't get any enjoyment from it either."

Stone Sister chuckled. "Jiahe, I feel like I've discovered another thing we have in common. We're both old-fashioned. What kind of books do you read? Or performances? We can chat about that too."

"I haven't been reading much in recent years. Aside from scripts, I try to understand the original novels. I went to two stand-up comedy shows last year, but I wasn't particularly interested. It seems like there's not much difference between watching on a phone and watching live," Shi Jiahe said. "I've read online that you absolutely have to go to the live shows. But for me, it's pretty much the same."

"We're so alike. My team dragged me to some kind of interactive show before, where the host and actors interact with the audience and throw in some impromptu jokes, but I felt the same way you did, I couldn't participate either. My team even said, 'Sister, you're too tense, don't always think about work, relax a bit.' I know they're right, but I just can't do it."

Shi Jiahe looked at Sister Stone and thought to herself, "These two middle-aged people are really boring."

"Well, what show should we watch? I'll turn on the projector." Stone slapped her thigh, as if she had come up with a brilliant idea.

Shi Jiahe smiled, then shook her head. "I haven't watched any new dramas lately. To be honest, I'm not interested."

The two faced each other and fell silent again.

"We in this industry don't watch dramas, and we don't have much entertainment. Isn't that a bit strange?"

"I've had a feeling something was wrong for a while, but I just can't get out of this state," Shi Jiahe said frankly. "I've been going to the movies much less in recent years because I don't go to premieres much. I don't like being called on to speak and then having short videos posted online. I don't really trust the opinions in the industry, so I watch fewer movies. As for dramas, it's always very slow to get used to a new one, including new actors and new roles. I only watch certain dramas because of work, and sometimes I watch summaries or clips to save time. I haven't paid attention to anything purely out of personal interest or because I want to watch certain genres for a long time. Besides, watching dramas is too time-consuming and requires a lot of immersion, but I just can't concentrate on something that requires a lot of time lately. So I haven't even read a book in a long time."

"WeChat Reading memberships are just like mine, all wasted, right?" Sister Stone said, then started laughing.

"Pretty much. It seems like buying books these days is just for peace of mind."

"Jiahe, I have to say, the more time I spend with you, the more I realize that we really have a lot in common. If this film goes smoothly, we should become good friends."

"Actually, I've already considered you a friend." Hearing this, Shi Jiahe had no choice but to go along with it, both professionally and personally. "I don't really like people making friends based on the fame or status of the artists they manage, because that has nothing to do with me. But I can't stop people from thinking that way, so I don't have many friends over the years. I'm actually quite happy that you've been contacting me a lot lately, because every time it's not because of Sister Ran, it's because you want to contact me as a person, which is quite different from before."

"It really is true, nowadays when I talk to people, it's all about work," said Sister Stone. "When I was younger, I used to go to plays, concerts, and even exhibitions all the time. I was kind of artsy, you could say. But without realizing it—not even since I started taking care of Panpanpan—I gradually drifted away from those things. Even though we work in film and television, all my reading and watching are for work, like learning about an IP or a director. But what do I like to watch? I haven't known for a long time. Now, when I see a really bad domestic film, my first reaction isn't that it's badly made. Instead, I think about how hard it must have been to make it, and I don't want to easily label it as a bad movie."

"I've long felt that my taste in movies has gone bad."

"You know, is it only people in our line of work who feel this way? Actually, the audience is more clear-headed than we are. So before, I was worried when you told me you wanted to do something about the entertainment industry. I thought, how can we film this when we're living in it? How can we portray these things without making people hate us? Things we take for granted might seem very illogical and unrealistic to the audience." Stone Sister was clearly deep in thought. "I'm sorry, I still couldn't help bringing up work, because now I'm starting to seriously consider the possibility of working with you, and the potential problems. Sigh. Isn't this too boring?"

"I'm happy you asked these questions. But I've thought about everything you said. This inner conflict and confusion in the industry has been there for a long time, but I couldn't find a solution. The reason I wanted to make this drama about the industry actually stems from my own feelings after working in it for over a decade. I think the stories of the entertainment industry are very worth telling, but our mistake is that we shouldn't look at it from our own perspective. We should look at it from an outsider's perspective to show its intricacies and unique aspects. Because every little thing here is very interesting to me, and everyone's strengths and weaknesses are so distinct. Although it's detached from life, it's also closely related to life, because every day we experience every link in the dream-making industry while also having to deal with the stress of our own lives. Just like when we're in it, we both love and hate our jobs; the essence is the same."

"I both love and hate it, that's so true, that's how I am every day," Sister Stone said. "Most of my old classmates who are in business or in the system don't really love their jobs, they just want to make money. They even advised me to just get by, how much money is too much anyway? I should start planning for my future. But I can't stop. I hate my current state, but I'm also addicted to it."

"Because we're in the dream-making industry, we're so close to so many people's dream lovers and idols, and we witness a myth being written and then shattered. That feeling is indescribable, and that experience can't be bought with money. Although there's a lot of darkness behind the glamour, and all sorts of demons and monsters lurk in the corners, and we also have to act as a shield, not letting the outside world see the side of the artist that's not suitable to be shown in public, I genuinely feel that I want to protect her. Because the person I see in private is just an ordinary girl, but I'm keenly aware that she's not ordinary. I've thought about changing careers, but no job has given me this feeling. I feel like I'm sinking deeper and deeper, but I don't want to really struggle."

"It's addictive, isn't it?"

"No, I feel perfectly clear-headed; I just can't shake it off. So I have to find something I can put my mind into among the things I can do. It would be even better if I could find a sense of value in it in the future."

"I understand, that's why you're so invested in this film."

"You could say that, because it's all out of personal motives, and besides, it's all for Sister Ran. This is the first time I've felt that I have a common goal with an artist. I can work for her while also putting my own hopes into it."

Although there was an element of polite talk involved, what Shi Jiahe just said was indeed her true feeling.

"I understand." Sister Stone nodded. "Although I can't promise you anything, and saying it now wouldn't have any legal effect, I want to tell you this so solemnly for the first time, Jiahe, that I will do everything in my power to make this happen."

"Thank you so much, Stone."

At this moment, Shi Jiahe felt neither excitement nor emotion, but only a very special sense of peace and tranquility.

It's like a person who has been traveling alone for a long time, suddenly being called out by a stranger. It's not because of who you are or what value you possess, but because everyone discovers that they are heading in the same direction. The melody that lingers in the soul finds its echo in the empty valley.

Although the feeling was abstract and fleeting, she truly captured it.

The two of them started to wait for the time to pass. At 9:15, Stone finally stopped looking at her watch and said, "It's about time."

"But are you really sure we can catch her?"

"uncertain."

"But we have to give it a try, right?" Shi Jiahe blurted out. "Otherwise, we won't be satisfied."

"Yes, even if there's only a one in ten thousand chance that something happens to Panpan... I still won't be able to forgive myself."

Without further hesitation, the two quickly got up, turned off the lights, locked the door, and as usual, Stone drove them straight to the Workers' Stadium, their first stop being the area with the most nightclubs.

Traffic congestion worsened at night, and with just one intersection to go, Stone suddenly exclaimed in frustration, "Why did I drive? Parking is impossible in front of nightclubs. Am I out of my mind?"

Shi Jiahe, who never drives, had no concept of parking. Seeing that Sister Shi had lost her usual composure, she could only comfort her, "How about this, I'll go inside and look for it in each store, you find a place to wait for me."

"How long will it take you to find it by yourself? Besides, it'll probably take me another half hour to park. Sigh, I should really take a taxi."

"Okay, stop blaming yourself. Even if you pick up the person, you still have to get back into the car, right? Having a car is always better."

"Jiahe, you really have the ability to soothe other people's emotions with just a few words. Now I understand why Sister Ran trusts you so much."

"Stop praising her! Although your teacher Zhuang has a bad temper, her love for you is real. She wouldn't dare to tease you like this if she didn't depend on you."

"When a person is immature, they don't even know who they are, so there's no point in talking about whether she loves anyone or not. I don't even ask for that."

The two chatted casually for a while, then Sister Stone turned into a nearby alley, spotted a parking space on the road, and backed in. After getting out of the car, they started looking for the nearest shop.

The more they walked, the more confused they became. Neither of them had ever been to the new restaurant near the Workers' Stadium, and they had no idea if it had private rooms. They went inside to ask around, but to no avail. The old restaurant was crowded, but even a fool could tell that a female celebrity appearing there would cause trouble, and Zhuang Pan was unlikely to come.

"I don't think it's the Workers' Stadium, it's not," Sister Stone kept shaking her head.

"Shall we go check out Windsor International Trade Center?" Shi Jiahe casually suggested.

Emma Stone, as if comforted, slapped her thigh and exclaimed, "That must be it!"

I promptly went back to get my car and drove towards Guomao; the road there was clear. After passing the last traffic light, I entered the underground parking garage from the side road and parked the car following the signs. After locking the car, Sister Shi said helplessly that we had to go back up. Shi Jiahe laughed and said that we'd have to come down again in a bit.

The place looked respectable, and the purpose sounded appealing, but in reality, the whole night was a waste of time. Knowing this, she still had to try to give it some meaning, otherwise, like Sister Stone wondering why she drove to the Workers' Stadium, she couldn't face the truth of this futile effort. Shi Jiahe couldn't help but feel even more self-doubt.

But when she stepped into Windsor and heard the noisy music, she suddenly felt as if she had been transported to another world.

If she did the math, Shi Jiahe couldn't remember the last time she'd seriously been to a karaoke bar. In her twenties, going to karaoke parties was a regular occurrence for business and networking; she even stayed up three nights in a row at Qian Gui karaoke in a single week. It felt like she was adding phone numbers and WeChat accounts every single day.

That was truly a time of crazy socializing. Although many people lost contact later, some friendships did develop that turned out quite well. However, as time went by, everyone became online friends, communicating about everything, and never returned to that starting point of frequent offline gatherings.

Although it wasn't as crowded as I remembered, Windsor was still quite lively.

There were many young faces, but Shi Jiahe always felt that everyone here wore a kind of weariness. Back then, karaoke was a trend, but now they still linger here, as if they don't know what newer forms of entertainment are available.

In the past, she used to find an anchor for her youth here, but now that she's back, she can't find anything related to youth. Instead, it feels like she's run into her past confusion again.

Meanwhile, Sister Stone was sending a message in the work group: "Has anyone seen Panpan?"

The responses I received were all negative.

Seeing Stone Sister's flustered look, Shi Jiahe patted her and said with blind certainty, "I have a strong intuition that Teacher Zhuang is here."

"Really? Do you know something?"

Shi Jiahe's face was serious. "Because besides this, she definitely doesn't know where else to go."